Rex The Wonder Dog

    Donald Trump’s White House seems to be in disarray. Instead of hiring cabinet members like former Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson as Secretary of State, maybe Mr. Trump should be listening to Rex the Wonder Dog if the following translated memo posted on Facebook is any indication:

TO:        All humans

FROM:  Rex the Wonder Dog

     Up until now, I’ve pretty much kept my mouth shut except maybe when that annoying cat from across the street walks past when I’m outside in my owner’s backyard. If I ever figure out how to work the gate latch, that cat is gone, I tell you, G-O-N-E.

     But never mind about the cat. There are bigger problems in the world right now and chief among them are Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un.

     For the most part, I figured you humans could be trusted with the welfare of the planet. After all, you’re supposedly the smartest species on Earth and generally tend to lean towards self-preservation.

     Lately, however, I’m having serious doubts about your capabilities when it comes to running things. What with climate change, overpopulation and resource depletion, things are looking a bit grim.

     And now with Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un squaring off in a schoolyard bully name-calling contest, I’m getting really worried. It wouldn’t be so bad if these two were like Spike and Fido down the street who go after one another every other day at the local dog park. But unlike Spike and Fido, Trump and Kim are armed with nuclear weapons.

     The problem, as I see it, is that neither of these guys has a dog for a pet. Donald Trump is the first U. S. president in well over a century not to have a dog in the White House. The fact that you haven’t had a nuclear war in all that time is no accident.

     I’m not on a first sniff basis with any of the previous canine residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue but I have it on good authority via the doggie kibble line that many of them were instrumental in keeping their master’s finger away from the nuclear trigger. Both Bo and Barney have reportedly claimed credit for calming down Presidents Obama and Bush in several crucial situations.

     And I believe it because that’s what we dogs do. If there’s increasing tension in a house, we’re there to distract the residents and to provide a helping paw when necessary. Admit it; there’s nothing more relaxing than petting the family dog when you’re at your wit’s end.

     So for the sake of humanity, please get Donald Trump a dog. I guarantee you that he’ll become a whole different person, maybe even presidential although I’m not promising any miracles.

     Ideally, you should try to arrange a dog for Kim Jong-un as well. I don’t know about the history of pet ownership by North Korea’s leaders but I’m pretty sure that Kim doesn’t currently own a dog and that’s a shame. What a friendly mutt could do for Trump could likewise work wonders for Kim as well.

     My main concern, however, is that even if someone gave Kim a dog, he might end up as the evening meal before he even got a chance to mollify the Supreme Leader. But, hey, nobody said this would be easy.

     Once this latest political crisis is solved, we dogs are not looking for any compensation or special treatment. As usual, a couple of scratches behind the ear and a “Who’s a good boy?” is reward enough. Oh, yeah, and maybe a free shot at the neighbor’s cat.